Women of a Certain Age

Isn't it funny how often you can have the same conversation with different people, all about the same time?


Hmm. That was a bit cryptic.


I had lunch with a good friend this week and we started talking about our families, especially our children.


Naturally. That's what women talk about. Their children.


D's boys and my two are about the same ages, within a year. We were commiserating with one another how unnecessary we feel in our children's lives right now. Gone are the days when we were the center of their focus, when we set the guidelines and the schedules, when they wanted to spend time with us, hiking or cooking or whatever. We agreed that we both felt like we weren't even blips on their radar screens.


It's hard to take a back seat when you've been driving for so long.


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Fast forward to tonight and I'm having the same conversation with M. She texted me today to see if the Man and I could go out to dinner with her and the Hammer (remember how her husband, also an M, got his nickname?)


She started telling me how she didn't feel needed anymore by her son, about the same age as K. Yup, I told her, I feel the same way. I told her I didn't think that our kids were thinking about us as much as we think about them. They weren't wondering, "Gee, I hope Mom and Dad are having a good time out with their friends," or "Boy, I hope they drive carefully coming home in this awful snow storm." 


I'm not sure they even think about us at all. Or if they do, it's like that Disney commercial where the son thinks his parents are bored at home, all by themselves, when in reality they are at Disney, kicking up their heels.


They don't see us as individuals. We're more like elevator music.


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So D and I started talking about what these changes meant for us. And we both seemed to reach the same conclusion. It's time to do those things we kept saying, "Maybe someday." It's time to put some color in our lives.


D? She wants to spend a summer on an island, working in a small shop and just enjoy island life for a few months.


Me? I want to chase tornados. With my camera. 


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The times they are a-changin'.