Good Thing This Isn't Smell-O-Vision

The Man has been on a quest for some cologne the past few months. He's been after me to pick something out that I like since he thinks I'll be doing most of the smelling.

Hmm. 

I think he'll be doing most of the smelling so he should find something he likes. We're not seeing eye to eye on this matter. I've put it off several times but he finally got to me and I agreed to go out and see what I could find.

I started in Macy's, land of a million billion-dollar scents. I literally smelled every scent they had on the shelves. I went through them one at a time, top to bottom, right to left. I think I burned all the little hairs in my nostrils. One of the sales clerks took pity on me and brought over a jar filled with coffee beans. She said it works to clear the scent from my nose.

Okay.

I took a sniff and went back into the fray. After a while they all blended together and smelled the same. I couldn't pick one. I was starting to get a headache. And a little cranky. I refused to spend a billion dollars for a small bottle of scent that I wasn't even sure the Man would like.

I walked out of there very discouraged. And a little perturbed that I couldn't find one. I decided to stop at Hollister, remembering they used to have a scent I liked when J was in college. I tried a few scents, squirting little bits on tags of paper and wafting them past my nose. I picked up the next bottle and squirted the paper.

Or at least that's what I thought I was doing. 

In reality the nozzle was pointed in a totally different direction than it looked and my hand took the full brunt of the squirt. So much cologne came out that my hand was DRIPPING with scent. I watched tiny drops fall off my hand.

Oh dear. 

I stunk.

I walked quickly out of store wiping scent off on anything and everything I went by. I couldn't stand my own self. I got to a bathroom and washed my hands several times trying to get rid of the smell.

That's it. I give up.

I went home and told the Man he was on his own when it came to picking out a cologne. So he called K and roped her into his crazy quest.

That's a story for another day.