Monday, October 3, 2011

One Friend, Two Friends/Old Friends, New Friends

For a long time I've thought that high school friends were friends because of proximity. 

We all lived in the same town. Went to the same dance studio.

Played on the same ball teams.

I went to church with a good number of them. Ran into them in the local grocery store.

Worked with them at the same gas station.

I saw them all.the.time.

And that made us friends.
But when I went off to college, I didn't know that it was likely proximity that made us friends. I assumed me and my high school friends would be friends forever.

That we'd always live just down the road from each other. 

We'd be in each other's weddings. We'd have barbecues with our families. 

And our kids would grow up together.
But that doesn't happen, does it?

Some of us stayed close to home. Maybe we went away to college, but the draw back to family is strong so we came back home to settle.

The rest of us settled elsewhere. Way out in the big, big world. Far away from home.

Oh, I tried to keep in touch for a few years but eventually, we drifted apart.

New friends came into my life. 

And old friends became those people I might exchange Christmas cards with or talk to once a year.
Then a funny thing happened. I hit mid-life. Actually, there's nothing funny about that at all.

And I started to lose people I loved, either to illness or tragedy. Or just natural causes. Whatever it was, it was a loss. And it hurt. And it made me sad. 

I started to hunger for innocent times in my life. Times when I didn't know what death or separation or divorce was, times when someone was always around to make things better.

So I started reaching out, searching. Finding old friends again. Friends who have those same memories of better days, or at least days when I didn't have to face losing people I love on a {now} regular basis.
Old friends came back into my life. 

We make time to get together. We share meals and talk. We travel together. And remember. And laugh. Always, we laugh.

Oh, yes, please let's laugh. We need more laughing in the world.
And history. There's a lot of history between me and my high school friends. 

It turns out these friends, and all the things we did together, shaped me. Molded me. Are a large part of why I became the person I am.

They are important.
So my message to K and her friends is simple. It's not mine but it's good.

Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver. the other gold.


  1. How true. But from the point of view of someone who moved far away from her home town, and have friends scattered all over the country, I can't reconnect as easily. I get that same feeling of comfort and innocent times when I just go back to Burlington. Just being there makes my heart lighter.

  2. your writing is beautiful, as always. And the picture coincide with words perfectly!!

  3. this is so sweet. i hope that someday that is true for me too, unfortunately, i feel like people are even more apt to spread out all over the country in my generation. i haven't seen my high school friends in a very long time.