Saturday, August 7, 2010

Walking Hazards

We have some adventures during our walks, Miz PG and I.

Remember I told you that our usual walk is around and about in the town cemetery? It's pretty quiet and keeps us off the streets. There's some c-r-a-z-y drivers out there and I don't want to be a statistic so I feel safer walking off the streets. The pictures in today's post come from the walk Miz PG and I do every morning. The cemetery is surrounded by corn fields and dairy farms and is absolutely one of the prettiest spots in town to walk.

Hence, we walk in the cemetery. Most of the time it's the same. Three circuits around the perimeter, some whining, maybe a little begging ("Are we done yet? Pleeeeeeease, can we be done?") and finally the three laps are over and we're back in the car heading home.

Every now and then something happens to break up the monotony. One day we were visited by the state police. He wanted to let us know that a car had been stolen from the cemetery and we should be alert as we walked around. Needless to say, we walked PDQ that day and headed home ASAP.

You'd think I work for the federal government with all that alphabet soup I'm flinging around.

Another day, way (and I mean waaaaaay) in the back recesses of the cemetery, there was a white van with no windows parked off the roadway, kind of tucked into a huge tree of unknown species.

(Miz PG and I have been trying to figure out what this tree is since we've been walking, over three years now. We're no closer than the day we started wondering. It has huge leaves and looks very prehistoric. That's about as good a description as I can give. If you could identify it for us, we'd appreciate it.)

We avoided that van and walked PDQ, looking over our shoulders, until the van finally started up and drove off. But we were ready to run that day. Except we don't run. We are easy pickings, I tell you.

We gotta practice running.
And then we had today. We were walking back to the car and I noticed a hole in the ground, right where a gravestone used to be - one of the type that rests flush with the ground, in the first row of the section. I peered into it to see if it was a sinkhole and could only see some white concrete stuff at the bottom of the 18" deep hole. No gravestone. Miz PG couldn't see around me and she wanted to know what was down there. She could have asked me.

What does she do?

She steps into the hole. Yup, right into the hole.

I screamed at her to get out of the hole.

Why? she asks, very perky and kind of Pollyanna-ish.

Because, I said, in every horror movie ever made, someone steps into a hole and gets sucked away, never to be seen again. And the poor schmuck friend with her is left to battle the monster that comes out of nowhere and usually ends up in a bad way.

So get out of the hole right now. Because if you get sucked away, I'm outta here.

She jumped out.

I'm telling you, we gotta find a new place to walk.

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