Independence Day, my foot
Independence (age 45): steady employment, earning a living wage; own a home; own vehicles; saving for retirement; putting kids through college; responsible for paying one's bills. Main concern: raising your children to be responsible adults, ready to leave home once they finish schooling.
Independence (age 19): part time employment; unable to support a cat, never mind oneself; mom and dad pay cell phone bill, car bills, food, shelter; and oh yeah, everything except fast food stops. Main concern: getting mom and dad to understand that you're independent now and don't have to let anyone know where you're going or how long you'll be there.
See why our household is a wee bit challenged right now? It seems that there are two dictionaries in existence. One for i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t children and one for the rest of us.
I think the words "You want to be independent? Fine. Give me your cell phone and your car keys. I pay for them. They're mine. Go get your own. Now you're independent," came out of my mouth. It's kind of hard to remember because I was a tad bit upset when I spoke them.
Aaaaargh.
My MIL says, "This, too, shall pass." I hope it's not as painful as a kidney stone.
Independence (age 19): part time employment; unable to support a cat, never mind oneself; mom and dad pay cell phone bill, car bills, food, shelter; and oh yeah, everything except fast food stops. Main concern: getting mom and dad to understand that you're independent now and don't have to let anyone know where you're going or how long you'll be there.
See why our household is a wee bit challenged right now? It seems that there are two dictionaries in existence. One for i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t children and one for the rest of us.
I think the words "You want to be independent? Fine. Give me your cell phone and your car keys. I pay for them. They're mine. Go get your own. Now you're independent," came out of my mouth. It's kind of hard to remember because I was a tad bit upset when I spoke them.
Aaaaargh.
My MIL says, "This, too, shall pass." I hope it's not as painful as a kidney stone.
Just one suggestion? How about a midway point? Living away from home in a dorm (signing for a loan in THEIR name) where they make decisions on their own and come and go as they please when they are there, but the old rules revert once they come home ;)
ReplyDeleteThat has been a successful transition (with the push and pull you describe when they arrive back home for summer/winter breaks) for our kids.